WLS - Weight Loss Surgery.
Look at me! Learning the lingo.
So I had my first appointment with the surgeon last week. It went very well! The good thing about choosing a practice that is about 99% bariatric-related, is that things are run like a well oiled machine. Talk about efficient! I'll more than likely be able to get the surgery done well before the holidays. And if that isn't reason enough to get out of making the damn turkey this year - I don't know what is.
Before walking in, I had already done lots of research and decided that I wanted to go with the Roux en Y gastric bypass surgery. There are a few different options, but this one seems like a good balance of great results and treatable/avoidable risks. Dr. Cirangle was in agreement. We discussed my history.....my various (and MANY) attempts at weight loss. My very first Weight Watchers meeting at the ripe old age of 10. He was absolutely sure that there wouldn't be any problem with my insurance. Luckily, Blue Cross is *awesome* about approving this particular surgery. We talked about this surgery being a tool, not a miracle. It's a great tool - a very effective tool, but there are lots of rules. Following the rules, will lead to great results and good health. Slacking off on the rules will lead to temporary results, and bad health. I'm committed to following the rules.
Since my appointment I've already had my phone consultation with the in-office dietitian (check!), made an appointment with my regular doctor for a current routine physical, scheduled an appointment for a phone consultation with the in-office psychologist, and plan on getting a few of the tests done on Monday while the big boys are in school. I have to have a chest x-ray, and upper GI series, and.....something else. Dr. Cirangle gave me prescriptions for each one. All I have to do is walk them into the hospital and have them done, and they'll fax the results to his office. See? Well oiled, I tell ya'. Before my paperwork can be submitted to the insurance for approval, I have to have the consult with the dietitian (done!) and also the consult with the psychologist which will happen this next week.
During my appointment last week, the doctor mentioned that it might be a good idea to go to a few WLS support groups during this whole process. I couldn't agree more. I've done a lot of reading on blogs, message boards, etc. and it's the first few months that are the worst. It's a rough recovery - mentally and physically. And there's always the chance that those around me might have little moments of crazy during my transformation.
For some people in my life....it may be hard to watch me shrink. I've always been heavy. It's always been my flaw. There have been many different levels of heavy - acceptable heavy....still very pretty heavy.....and I CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE heavy. There are lots of things I like about myself, and am proud of....but my body isn't one of them. Aside from it's ability to make cute and healthy babies (albeit only boys), I've always hated my body. The exception being the few years during my early twenties where I dedicated myself entirely to ME and became a total fitness guru. Crazy, right? I became a certified aerobics instructor, I taught swimming lessons and life guarded at the Y, the whole nine yards. Anyway, I was cute...but man...did I have to work crazy hard for it. We're talking 2-3 hours in the gym PER DAY. No meat. No fat whatsoever. No sugar ever. No soda. No caffeine. No eating after 7pm. Water. Veggies. Tofu. That is all. I was okay with it at the time - I was in the zone. I have three kids and a husband now. I can't devote that kind of time. An hour of exercise 4-5 times per week? Sure. I will commit to making that happen. But not 2-3 hours, 6 times per week. Who would fold all the laundry?
So that's where I am. I'll keep you posted.
Ok, now I feel bad about the "only boys" comment I made earlier.........
N, R, and J? I adore you. You know that. I wouldn't trade you for a hundred girls. Really! I wouldn't. You cute little monsters.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
1st grade, 1st birthday, 1st soccer team
Here's my biggest boy on his first day of school. What a trooper. I'm so glad he's liking it, and I love that the desks are in clusters rather than single file. 
Yay for crunchiness! 
Yay for crunchiness! 
The baby had a high fever and (what turned out to be) Roseola on his birthday. Poor guy! We had a very low key family party for him, but he was pretty out of it.
Don't you love it when you get out 
of your bath to find lots of gifts waiting for you? And by the way - I did NOT buy that tank under the coffee table. R. loved it. So *someone* bought it for him. It wasn't me. That thing gives me the creeps.
of your bath to find lots of gifts waiting for you? And by the way - I did NOT buy that tank under the coffee table. R. loved it. So *someone* bought it for him. It wasn't me. That thing gives me the creeps. 
It was the kind of virus that could only be comforted by Baby Einstein. And Daddy's chair. Look at him. Adorable even when he isn't feeling well. I could just eat him up. Sometimes his cheeks smell like kisses. He gets about ten million of them per day.This is R.'s first year playing soccer. He really likes it. As it turns out (surprise, surprise) he's really competitive. He doesn't seem to get the concept of TEAM SPORT. It's him against EVERYONE ELSE.
This will be an interesting seas
on! Monday, September 1, 2008
naked
You know - I've been struggling with what to do with this blog. It's become something that I think about every day with an "Ugh - I guess I should do that" attitude. Not good! I think it's because I feel like if I'm not going to be totally honest on this thing - I shouldn't bother at all. I don't want this to be a rainbows and sunshine only type of blog. Those kinds of blogs make me want to gag. I'm all about honestly - but am also sort of a private person...so sometimes I struggle with what to write.
Oh well, here goes.
It's been a hard summer.....my little sister has cervical cancer......she's having surgery in 6 weeks (they have to wait that long so that she can heal from the cone biopsy they did recently). After they're done, she'll have about a 60% chance of carrying a baby someday. The thought of not being able to have her own baby is heartbreaking for her. For all of us. Oddly, the whole situation has brought my sister and I closer....I really love her and would take some of this off of her shoulders if I could.
N. is doing well in first grade. He's at our local public school. He did better with the whole changing of schools thing than I did. It killed me to pull him out of his wonderful private Christian school. I still feel a lot of shame about it. The fact that he was one of 8 kids from kindergarten who were pulled out over the summer did make me feel a little better....in this economy - extra's like private school are the first things to go. We realized that paying for one child in private school is one thing - three is quite another. Luckily, he knows lots of kids at his school from soccer, tball, and his preschool. He got into a class with only 20 kids and his teacher is known for being great - I'm okay and so is he. He's a good boy, that one. He's gianormous. Seriously - he's such a big boy. It's astounding. He just started soccer and loves it - he's an awesome goal keep. We tried to get him into Pop warner football since that's what he really wanted to do - but he was too big for his age group, and too young for the next weight range, so he has to wait for next year. You should see that kid throw a football....I hate to put him into that: he's-big-he's-going-to-play-football box, but he's really good! He's lost a total of 8 teeth, and has the look of a 3rd grader....big 'ol awkward teeth! Every time he smiles I see dollar signs! Thankfully, our insurance pays a good chunk for orthodontics, because he's definitely going to need braces.
R. What can I say? His behavior has been awful. He has a good heart, but man.....he's a tough one. I could have TWELVE more kids and I feel absolutely confident that he would still be my hardest one. That kids spends half his life in time out. I would call Supernanny if it didn't require me to be on TV. When he's good - he's very, very good. When he's bad - lookout. I take solice in the fact that he's gentle and kind to small children and animals. That means he won't become a serial killer - right? I kid. He's stubborn, and isn't scared of anything or anyone. That's a tough combo when you're trying to discipline, you know? He pushes the envelope to the very edge.....it's hard. I've noticed that since N. has gone back to school, he's a little better. Almost like he's craving my undivided attention. As much as he loves Bub, I think he's still mourning not being the loved on, kissed on, worshipped little baby of the family anymore. I love him though - he's hysterical and clever. Definitely the "class clown" of our family. He's playing soccer this year, and is very excited to be on his very own team. Finally, he isn't on the sidelines watching his brother!
Bub is a wonderful baby. He turned one on the 26th and celebrated as much as he could given he was on day three of a high fever. It turned out to be Roseola. Poor guy was a mess for about a week. Would barely eat, was VERY fussy, and just generally unhappy. He's much better now, and is back to his old happy self. He's walking for little stretches here and there - about twenty steps at a time. He's following in his brother's footsteps who were walkers by thirteen months. He weighs 26 pounds and is very, very tall. We adore him....he's the sweetest baby. He has beautiful soulful (green!) eyes and undeniably red hair. He's such a hugger. He puts his arms around our necks and hugs us tight. I love it - I don't remember the other boys doing that as babies.
I probably shouldn't announce this yet, since the process hasn't even started yet - but I'm feeling "bare all " right now, so I'll do it anyway. I'm going to pursue gastric bypass surgery. I've freakin' had it. I've been battling my weight since I was 8 years old. It isn't ever going to be "fixed" in any other way. When I really bust my ass, I can lose 30 pounds. And then I slowly gain it back. 30 pounds is a drop in the bucket for me. I need to lose about 100. I'm done. I've had it. I'm not scared of the surgery - I'm scared of NOT having the surgery. Genetics is something that I can't battle anymore. I will always be overweight without this surgery. I'm too pretty to be this fat. Lol. My first appointment is couple of weeks. I'm excited. My insurance generally covers it, but I have to go through a battery of tests first. We would never be able to pay for the surgery out of pocket, so I'm praying that they'll cover it. The surgeon is confident that they will. I'm SOOO ready. I know that this is a controversial thing, but honestly - I'm totally not into hearing anything negative about the surgery. Especially from thin people who don't know how terrible it is to be overweight! I've done my homework. I've found an excellent, highly recommended surgeon. The danger for me is in NOT having the surgery. So if you don't have anything nice to say - please don't say anything at all! I didn't mean for that to sound bitchy....so I'm sorry if it did.
I think I'm going to post a bunch of kid pictures later.
I guess the blog drought is over for now!
Oh well, here goes.
It's been a hard summer.....my little sister has cervical cancer......she's having surgery in 6 weeks (they have to wait that long so that she can heal from the cone biopsy they did recently). After they're done, she'll have about a 60% chance of carrying a baby someday. The thought of not being able to have her own baby is heartbreaking for her. For all of us. Oddly, the whole situation has brought my sister and I closer....I really love her and would take some of this off of her shoulders if I could.
N. is doing well in first grade. He's at our local public school. He did better with the whole changing of schools thing than I did. It killed me to pull him out of his wonderful private Christian school. I still feel a lot of shame about it. The fact that he was one of 8 kids from kindergarten who were pulled out over the summer did make me feel a little better....in this economy - extra's like private school are the first things to go. We realized that paying for one child in private school is one thing - three is quite another. Luckily, he knows lots of kids at his school from soccer, tball, and his preschool. He got into a class with only 20 kids and his teacher is known for being great - I'm okay and so is he. He's a good boy, that one. He's gianormous. Seriously - he's such a big boy. It's astounding. He just started soccer and loves it - he's an awesome goal keep. We tried to get him into Pop warner football since that's what he really wanted to do - but he was too big for his age group, and too young for the next weight range, so he has to wait for next year. You should see that kid throw a football....I hate to put him into that: he's-big-he's-going-to-play-football box, but he's really good! He's lost a total of 8 teeth, and has the look of a 3rd grader....big 'ol awkward teeth! Every time he smiles I see dollar signs! Thankfully, our insurance pays a good chunk for orthodontics, because he's definitely going to need braces.
R. What can I say? His behavior has been awful. He has a good heart, but man.....he's a tough one. I could have TWELVE more kids and I feel absolutely confident that he would still be my hardest one. That kids spends half his life in time out. I would call Supernanny if it didn't require me to be on TV. When he's good - he's very, very good. When he's bad - lookout. I take solice in the fact that he's gentle and kind to small children and animals. That means he won't become a serial killer - right? I kid. He's stubborn, and isn't scared of anything or anyone. That's a tough combo when you're trying to discipline, you know? He pushes the envelope to the very edge.....it's hard. I've noticed that since N. has gone back to school, he's a little better. Almost like he's craving my undivided attention. As much as he loves Bub, I think he's still mourning not being the loved on, kissed on, worshipped little baby of the family anymore. I love him though - he's hysterical and clever. Definitely the "class clown" of our family. He's playing soccer this year, and is very excited to be on his very own team. Finally, he isn't on the sidelines watching his brother!
Bub is a wonderful baby. He turned one on the 26th and celebrated as much as he could given he was on day three of a high fever. It turned out to be Roseola. Poor guy was a mess for about a week. Would barely eat, was VERY fussy, and just generally unhappy. He's much better now, and is back to his old happy self. He's walking for little stretches here and there - about twenty steps at a time. He's following in his brother's footsteps who were walkers by thirteen months. He weighs 26 pounds and is very, very tall. We adore him....he's the sweetest baby. He has beautiful soulful (green!) eyes and undeniably red hair. He's such a hugger. He puts his arms around our necks and hugs us tight. I love it - I don't remember the other boys doing that as babies.
I probably shouldn't announce this yet, since the process hasn't even started yet - but I'm feeling "bare all " right now, so I'll do it anyway. I'm going to pursue gastric bypass surgery. I've freakin' had it. I've been battling my weight since I was 8 years old. It isn't ever going to be "fixed" in any other way. When I really bust my ass, I can lose 30 pounds. And then I slowly gain it back. 30 pounds is a drop in the bucket for me. I need to lose about 100. I'm done. I've had it. I'm not scared of the surgery - I'm scared of NOT having the surgery. Genetics is something that I can't battle anymore. I will always be overweight without this surgery. I'm too pretty to be this fat. Lol. My first appointment is couple of weeks. I'm excited. My insurance generally covers it, but I have to go through a battery of tests first. We would never be able to pay for the surgery out of pocket, so I'm praying that they'll cover it. The surgeon is confident that they will. I'm SOOO ready. I know that this is a controversial thing, but honestly - I'm totally not into hearing anything negative about the surgery. Especially from thin people who don't know how terrible it is to be overweight! I've done my homework. I've found an excellent, highly recommended surgeon. The danger for me is in NOT having the surgery. So if you don't have anything nice to say - please don't say anything at all! I didn't mean for that to sound bitchy....so I'm sorry if it did.
I think I'm going to post a bunch of kid pictures later.
I guess the blog drought is over for now!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Bub
That's what we call him. "Bub," "Bubby," "Mamas" as in "Mama's Boy," and "Cookie." Lately I've been trying to call him by his actual name.....I think knowing his name would be a good thing! 
I can tell that he understands more and more of what we're saying to him....there are a few catch phrases that he's very familiar with. If we say, "Hey Bub, whats in your mouth?" He immediately makes a "blech" sound, wrinkles up his nose, and spits whatever is in his mouth out for our inspection. Well trained, that one! If we say "Hey Bub, no no no no!!!" when he starts to climb the stairs - he looks over his shoulder and flashes us an adorable little grin - as if to say "hey, I didn't leave the gate down. YOU DID" and then scrambles up the stairs as fast as his chubby legs can carry him. If we say "Hey Bub! Are you hungry? Want some num num num?" He starts crawling over to his high chair while "air chewing." Once he's in his chair ,and he can see the food preparation happening he starts eagerly saying "MMMM!!!!!! NUM NUM NUM!!!!!"
Bub's favorite toy is the Playskool busy ball popper. He thinks it's fantastic. I've been meaning to take some pictures of him playing with it, but really - a video would be better. How else can I capture all of the screeching?
He adores his brothers, and the feeling is mutual. Luckily, they've both been very sweet to him and are very understanding when he knocks over their towers or ruins their race tracks. R. plays with him a little more than N. does - and so, they are especially close.
Funny, I always thought that N. would be "the joint" between the other two brothers. It's pretty clear that R. will do the job instead. Most would say that it's typically the middle sibling who does this - but I wasn't sure how R. would react to the baby. I know I've said this before - but for all of his....um....indiscretions as a four year old human being - he's a wonderful big brother. He could work on being a better little brother....that's for sure.....but he's got the older brother thing down pat.
Typical for an almost one year old - Bub is into everything.
The dishwasher, the fridge, the closet where the boys keep their shoes (he seems to have a bit of a shoe fetish just like N did....and still does.....) the pantry, and every and any drawer he can break into. We really need to update our childproof latches because they are now well over three years old.
Yesterday, Bub took three steps! It seems like he's making a very obvious effort to walk. I'm in no hurry! But sadly - he seems to be. And needless to say - he's huge. Just really tall and really solid. I swear he's bigger than his brothers were. I should weigh him to confirm....all I know is I ordered him some 18-24 month clothes for this fall, and most of the tops went back in exchange for the 2T. He's in 18-24 months now. All torso. Huge hands (see pool pic!) Again - no surprise there.
His hair is undeniably red. Paired with his light brown eyebrows, dark eyelashes, and huge round, greenish eyes - he's adorable. Going to the grocery store is an event, because I can't go two lanes without someone stopping to tell me how cute my baby is. Who doesn't love that? Of course - he's always clapping and smiling at the grocery store because he LOVES LOVES LOVES balloons. Have you ever noticed how many balloons there are in the average Safeway? LOTS! I'm cheap though - I only buy him one if we happen to be at the crap (dollar) store. Because....balloons are only - you guessed it - $1 at the crap (dollar) store! And they're $3.99 at Safeway. If I buy him a balloon, it'll be coming straight out of my Diet Pepsi allowance and we can't have that.
This year has just flown by. Truly - I can't believe my littlest guy is almost one year old. He's a wonderful, beautiful, splendid little child. We're so lucky to have him.
I can tell that he understands more and more of what we're saying to him....there are a few catch phrases that he's very familiar with. If we say, "Hey Bub, whats in your mouth?" He immediately makes a "blech" sound, wrinkles up his nose, and spits whatever is in his mouth out for our inspection. Well trained, that one! If we say "Hey Bub, no no no no!!!" when he starts to climb the stairs - he looks over his shoulder and flashes us an adorable little grin - as if to say "hey, I didn't leave the gate down. YOU DID" and then scrambles up the stairs as fast as his chubby legs can carry him. If we say "Hey Bub! Are you hungry? Want some num num num?" He starts crawling over to his high chair while "air chewing." Once he's in his chair ,and he can see the food preparation happening he starts eagerly saying "MMMM!!!!!! NUM NUM NUM!!!!!"
Bub's favorite toy is the Playskool busy ball popper. He thinks it's fantastic. I've been meaning to take some pictures of him playing with it, but really - a video would be better. How else can I capture all of the screeching?
He adores his brothers, and the feeling is mutual. Luckily, they've both been very sweet to him and are very understanding when he knocks over their towers or ruins their race tracks. R. plays with him a little more than N. does - and so, they are especially close.
Funny, I always thought that N. would be "the joint" between the other two brothers. It's pretty clear that R. will do the job instead. Most would say that it's typically the middle sibling who does this - but I wasn't sure how R. would react to the baby. I know I've said this before - but for all of his....um....indiscretions as a four year old human being - he's a wonderful big brother. He could work on being a better little brother....that's for sure.....but he's got the older brother thing down pat.Typical for an almost one year old - Bub is into everything.
The dishwasher, the fridge, the closet where the boys keep their shoes (he seems to have a bit of a shoe fetish just like N did....and still does.....) the pantry, and every and any drawer he can break into. We really need to update our childproof latches because they are now well over three years old.Yesterday, Bub took three steps! It seems like he's making a very obvious effort to walk. I'm in no hurry! But sadly - he seems to be. And needless to say - he's huge. Just really tall and really solid. I swear he's bigger than his brothers were. I should weigh him to confirm....all I know is I ordered him some 18-24 month clothes for this fall, and most of the tops went back in exchange for the 2T. He's in 18-24 months now. All torso. Huge hands (see pool pic!) Again - no surprise there.
His hair is undeniably red. Paired with his light brown eyebrows, dark eyelashes, and huge round, greenish eyes - he's adorable. Going to the grocery store is an event, because I can't go two lanes without someone stopping to tell me how cute my baby is. Who doesn't love that? Of course - he's always clapping and smiling at the grocery store because he LOVES LOVES LOVES balloons. Have you ever noticed how many balloons there are in the average Safeway? LOTS! I'm cheap though - I only buy him one if we happen to be at the crap (dollar) store. Because....balloons are only - you guessed it - $1 at the crap (dollar) store! And they're $3.99 at Safeway. If I buy him a balloon, it'll be coming straight out of my Diet Pepsi allowance and we can't have that.
This year has just flown by. Truly - I can't believe my littlest guy is almost one year old. He's a wonderful, beautiful, splendid little child. We're so lucky to have him.
Friday, August 8, 2008
More issues than a magazine rack
I have lots of pictures to post. The baby is just about 11 1/2 months old. I have a post in my head about that. I have a post in my head about the fact that my middle son is perhaps....a little bit crazy. And my 6 year old is acting like a teenager already. But I just can't post about these things now. I need to post about something that I don't have a picture for. Something that has been on my mind for....well....for as long as I can remember. Having children has magnified this issue by about a thousand. Here goes.
I really hate the sound of my children chewing. And my husband too. They are all ice chewers. As in - they go to the fridge, get a cup filled with too much "crunched" ice and water. They drink the water and then crunch on the ice for the next hour or so. They're even training the baby. He knows when there is ice around and crawls over to them Saying "num num num" enthusiastically on his way across the room. And chips. Or pretzels. Don't even get me started. When I have to listen to them crunching....it makes my hair hurt. I casually cover my ears while pretending to rest my chin on my hands. And they aren't necessarily chewing with their mouths open. My kids aren't being raised in a barn (some might argue that the jury is still out on that one........) I tell them all the time to chew with their mouths closed. They're pretty good about it. But I can hear them crunching anyway. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. It just kills me. And cereal! Cereal is a bad one....because they slurp it. Know what I mean? They simultaneously take a bite of the cheerios and slurp the milk off the spoon. And honestly - they aren't really being obnoxiously rude or loud - I'm just super sensitive to it. I don't say anything, because I know that it's me - not them - who has the problem.
Also....I can't stand talking to people on the phone while they are eating. It's awful. I can't even focus on what they are saying because I can't get past the chewing. Mind you, it's evident that they are taking small bites....trying to be quiet about it. I think that they think I don't know they're eating. But I know. Oh boy - do I know. It's as if I can feel their sandwich starting to ooze into my ear. It's all I can do to keep myself from quietly hanging up on them.
And there you go! A little peek into my craziness. From me to you. You're welcome.
I really hate the sound of my children chewing. And my husband too. They are all ice chewers. As in - they go to the fridge, get a cup filled with too much "crunched" ice and water. They drink the water and then crunch on the ice for the next hour or so. They're even training the baby. He knows when there is ice around and crawls over to them Saying "num num num" enthusiastically on his way across the room. And chips. Or pretzels. Don't even get me started. When I have to listen to them crunching....it makes my hair hurt. I casually cover my ears while pretending to rest my chin on my hands. And they aren't necessarily chewing with their mouths open. My kids aren't being raised in a barn (some might argue that the jury is still out on that one........) I tell them all the time to chew with their mouths closed. They're pretty good about it. But I can hear them crunching anyway. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. It just kills me. And cereal! Cereal is a bad one....because they slurp it. Know what I mean? They simultaneously take a bite of the cheerios and slurp the milk off the spoon. And honestly - they aren't really being obnoxiously rude or loud - I'm just super sensitive to it. I don't say anything, because I know that it's me - not them - who has the problem.
Also....I can't stand talking to people on the phone while they are eating. It's awful. I can't even focus on what they are saying because I can't get past the chewing. Mind you, it's evident that they are taking small bites....trying to be quiet about it. I think that they think I don't know they're eating. But I know. Oh boy - do I know. It's as if I can feel their sandwich starting to ooze into my ear. It's all I can do to keep myself from quietly hanging up on them.
And there you go! A little peek into my craziness. From me to you. You're welcome.
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