Saturday, November 15, 2008

slinking back with my tail between my legs......

That's how it feels whenever I click over to this poor, dusty, abandoned blog.

Then I sit here with my fingers poised over the keys thinking "Hmmmm....where to start. This is ridiculous. Why do I bother?"

Maybe I feel about this blog as I do about writing long cheerful letters to accompany my Christmas cards. Like the letter is stupid, not completely truthful, and not something I don't want to do.

My extended family doesn't read this blog. They never have. Because I'm too private and they don't know that the blog even exists. So really, what's the point?

I don't know what exactly has transpired in the last several months to make it so that I don't want to share things in this venue- good or bad....but I just don't. And everything is really okay! Kids are fine, Big Al is fine, I'm okay - just waiting for my first appointment coming up on 12/9....having to sort of start over, but still on the right track for my surgery. Things are okay!

And for some reason....I have such an aversion to writing on this thing. I don't like it anymore. And that's sort of sad....if I go back through my archives, there's lots of stuff here! Lots of good memories. But I just get an "ick" feeling about it now....and I truly don't know why. So........ I'm out. I'm not going to delete the blog or anything....and who knows....maybe at some point I'll feel like writing on it again....but for now it feels like just another project that I have completely flaked on - and that doesn't feel good. Plus, it doesn't feel like it's for feels like it's a performance of sorts....

For a blog to be useful and therapeutic for me, it would have to be under a false name, without any pictures, and it would be just for me to vent in. Not a bad idea really!

Anyway, drop me a note or find me on Facebook! Facebook is mindless and easy...and sometimes I post pictures of my darling little monsters.

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